That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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