I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
