i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Two words: blizzard sex
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize