dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
