i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
