Betty ford says i'm here all night
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
