he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
