dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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