if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
