We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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