After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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