omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
love makes seman taste better
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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