i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I have aggressive nipples.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
