3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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