haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you didnt know i had herpes?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
