Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
