i just had sex bonerless
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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