I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
