yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
