My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
