One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
