I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
