Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
