i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
