someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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