Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
