You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My Sexting was not on an AP level
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
