One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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