i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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