The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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