So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's blow job season.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
