FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
