why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
