I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize