You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
