why didn't you poke me back
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
