You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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