Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You're like the curious george of whores
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
