yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
