he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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