In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Randomize
