I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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