Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
