God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
