it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
