i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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