I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
this will be a night to untag.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Randomize
