I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
