Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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