dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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