apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize