Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
