I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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