sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
