it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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