Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
