you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
