I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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