I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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