Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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