What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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