Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm both gender and math confused
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
