Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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