I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
