Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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