We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
