She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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