perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
