Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
