So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
