come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Hippo gnu deer
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
3 2 1 whiskey
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